The Guide
Remember November: PG-13
In the wake of tragedy, Emma and William move into a charming treehouse filled with wolves. Can Emma’s sanity hold out until Harvest Fest? Will Ben remain transparent? Mystery and suspense await you in this shocking thriller, which won two Wowees for Best Use of Clocks, and Best Use of Cloth Napkins.
Years of Change: PG
Haunted by the ghost of her childhood mirror, Janet decides to become marram grass and is forced to take on the seagull mafia terrorizing her new neighborhood. This instant feel good classic is fit for family night!
Sonata for Three Hands: R
When James, a classical pianist, grows a third hand out of the back of his neck, the hijinks begin. Will he be able to perform? What will his lovers think? Why is his brother eating cigarette butts? There’s more than meets the eye in this slow burn drama.
Mutt on the Bounty: PG-13
Titan is a German shepherd who can sniff out treasure, and Ben is a no account grifter on the make. Can they make it to New Orleans before the ghosts in their gas tank go full on poltergeist? It’s anyone’s guess. The special effects in this sleeper classic won FOUR Wowees, including Best Breakaway Face.
In Light of Tomorrow: PG
Presumed to have met her demise while saving earth from a weaponized asteroid, Gwenda is discovered working as a mechanic on an auxiliary moon and growing bitter cress in her bathtub. This heartwarming classic was a fan favorite at the Fruitport Film Festival.
In the Pantry of Rubber Mermaids: NC-17
Fast talking con man Chuck is out on a limb but well loved by almost everyone in the town of Caution Steep Hill, until the calendar conspiracy turns his little world upside down. Will the Desert Blooms, an all lady biker gang, lay him up under the patio stone? Will the sinkhole that seems to be following him finally catch up?
Parade Or No Parade: R
New lovers Denise and Georgia have to get a truckload of rapidly mutating crawdads past customs and their vengeful ex-husbands before their cargo starts to bite back.
The Hidden: PG-13
What are the secrets of Black Rock Manor? Why are the crows gathering near the pond? Why is there a tunnel leading from the basement to the abandoned mine? Will American backpackers Becky, Rebecca, and Bec live long enough to find out?
Granny Starlight: R
Just starting to realize her powers, Elizabeth is haunted by crypic messages only she can read, not to mention the portals that have started to form wherever she goes. The only person who can help her is her grandmother, who happens to be both dead and off planet. Will that be enough to keep Elizabeth down? Dive into this gripping sci fi thriller which won a Wowee for Best Asemic Language.
Orange Skull Field: PG
When Ben and the gang see a UFO crash land in their favorite-soon-to-be-paved-over field, they have no idea what the next three days hold in store. Talking pangolins? Yup. Portable DIY star systems? That’s right. A way to stop Byron Harnesser and his plan to destroy their tiny paradise? Only time will tell!
Bankers VS Everybody, Director’s Cut: NC-17
Every July, gun-toting members of the 1% gather at Elkhorn Acres, hundreds of square miles of wilderness, where they hunt herds of homeless people and particularly violent federal prisoners. The events, lovingly referred to as The Games, will be different this year since all the kitchen staff are family members of former prey and three of them are former Marines . . . Winner of multiple Wowees, for Most Convincing Entrails, Best Cannibal Scene, and the highly regarded WTF Prize.
Tanny, the Orphans, and Droon: PG-13
Mad scientist Rod Tanny was an expert botanist and geneticist hellbent on taking over the world with an army of rose-wolf hybrids. He succeeded. Thirty years later, only a few pockets of non-rose-wolf life remain. Can a ragtag band of orphans and their foul-mouthed drone make the world safe for other species again?
The Rocker: R
Shock Rocker Satanna Quim is out manufacturing a controversy to promote her as yet unwritten album Diddling the Devil’s Doorbell when her apartment is broken into. The only thing missing is her grandmother’s cursed rocking chair, that is, the only thing Satanna needs to write her dark forbidden music. Forced to enlist the help of her least favorite but most eager groupie, Walt, Satanna is in a race against time and her demonic agent’s terrible temper.
Doctor’s Orders: R
Sebastian Nune is a simple country doctor, running a quiet little practice in the sleepy burg of Hell, Michigan. He’s also an alien convict on the run from interstellar law enforcement and Faron, his new lover, has sniffed out the truth. But that’s just where Sebastian’s troubles begin. Faron is also the son of two of Sebastian’s victims. Add the fact that several “comets” are racing straight towards town and you have a white knuckle rollercoaster of a ride!
Miracle, New Jersey: R
Jenny discovers a bustling village in the woods on her 8th birthday. But this is no ordinary village, the tallest building is just a foot and a half high. When Jenny starts hearing voices again and her stomach starts to growl, who knows what will happen next?
Nympho Cumulus: XXX
One day, night refuses to fall on Middleville, it just sort of hovers a couple hundred feet above the roofs of the tallest house in town. When tentacles descend from the darkness and start to puncture the skulls of the locals, turning them into sex crazed monsters, only Constable Oracle is able to come to the rescue. But even she has her own personal demons. Does Middleville stand a chance?
The Breakfast Quinoa Gang: PG-13
Suze and Jamie are stuck on a family vacation to the Grand Canyon but what starts off as a boring donkey ride turns into an all out adventure through the Lost City pursued by ghosts and a band of bloodthirsty bandits hot on the trail of buried treasure. When their parents reveal their true goblin identities though, things really go sideways.
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Michael Sikkema is the author of You’ve Got A Pretty Hellmouth (Trembling Pillow Press, 2019), May Apple Deep (Trembling Pillow Press, 2015) and various other books and chapbooks of poetry. A new book called Caw Caw Phony is supposed to come out in 2021.
